Belarus's BrotherStalking Journal
by jimmynovakuumcleaner
Summary: When Russia gives Belarus a diary to record her feelings in, of course she's going to do as her brother asks. But on the days leading up to her birthday, she starts to trust her brother less, and rely on someone else more...   EstBel & RusAme
1. Chapter 1

_**Belarus's Brother-Stalking Diary**_

_I've been looking at some of the diary stories, and they look awesome so I want to write one too! So, I will make one for Belarus, because that could be interesting. I don't know if she already has one, because I haven't looked, but oh well~! The pairing will probably be EstBel, because there is nowhere near enough of it... And there'll be very small mentions of LatUkra (Does that even exist? ...It does now~!) and RusAme, because I don't like RoChu~ Also, Russia, his sisters and the Baltics are living together in this fic, just to make things easier._

_There will be 3 entries a chapter, because the entries probably won't be that long! But for the first chapter, there will only be 2, because I want to see if people like it first. I'll continue even you don't, though~! I don't know how long I'll be writing them for, either. Probably only a few weeks... Well, enjoy~!_

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><p><strong>18th August<strong>

Diary,

Big brother gave me this diary, so I will write in it, like he said I should. When he gave me it, he said, "You're always so angry all the time, Belarus~! Maybe if you write what's bothering you in that diary, it would help you get it off your chest, da~?" I told him he could read it whenever he wanted to, because we'll be married some day and we shouldn't keep secrets from each other, but he just blushed and backed away, shaking his head... I'm sure he's just shy.

Today, I followed big brother to America's house again. He brought some sunflowers with him; at first, I thought they were for me, but he gave them to that America... He's been going there a lot lately, and it's making me suspect something. He came out of his house looking especially cheerful, and his cheeks were slightly red... The only person causing big brother to act like that should be me, not that bastard! But, I didn't bring my knives with me today, so there wasn't anything I could do about it. It doesn't matter, I'll be married to big brother Russia soon...

After that, I ran straight back home, being careful not to be seen by big brother. I must have been looking especially irritated, because Estonia, who was sitting at the dining room table on his laptop, asked if I was okay... He probably just asked for the sake of it. Why would he care? All he seems to be interested in is that laptop that he's always typing away on. He even looked up from his laptop when he was talking to me, which is weird; he _never _does that for anyone else... I told him I was fine (maybe I said it more forceful than necessary...), grabbed a snack from the cupboard, and ran here, to my room. I think he said something after that, but I didn't catch it. I'm sure it wasn't important...

It's only another week until my birthday... I wonder if big brother will propose to me? That would make a nice present. And I must remember to get big sister a present too, since her birthday is the day before mine. What would Ukraine want...? Maybe a better bra... Latvia's face when she runs... it almost makes me smile. I think he has a crush on her. If I was a nicer person, maybe I'd help them get together.

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><p><strong>19th August<strong>

Diary,

Big brother left early _again _to go to America's house today... With _another _bunch of sunflowers. I wish he'd give me bunches of sunflowers like that... Maybe he doesn't because he knows that I already love him, so he doesn't need to... Wait. Could that be why he's giving them to America? To tell him that he loves him? There's now way that could be true, right? He loves _me_! So, I followed him again today, just to make sure that America isn't doing anything to my brother.

I should've killed America yesterday... He hugged my brother! And he actually _let _him! That wasn't the only thing he did, either... And even worse... big brother looked like he was enjoying it! To say that I'm annoyed would be an understatement. A _massive _understatement. Anyway, what happened before that...

Soon after he arrived at that idiot's house, they left, with a picnic basket in big brother's hand and a blanket in America's arms. Typical America, wanting to carry the lightest thing. How inconsiderate... I guessed that they would be heading for the park with stuff like that, so I ran there ahead of them, to find a comfortable tree to sit in.

After a few minutes, they arrived. HAND IN HAND! Brother, why are you letting him do that when we're going to get married? I almost broke my binoculars, because I was gripping them so hard... America actually helped set out their food, which kind of surprised me... But that still doesn't make it okay! So, after they finished their food (during which that bastard America tried to spoon-feed my dear brother... I swear, he's going to wake up at the bottom of the Baltic Sea tomorrow... Well, he won't wake up, but you get the point.) Russia laid back on the blanket, and America decided to rest his head on my dear big brothers chest! When he put his arms around big brother, AND HE PUT HIS ARMS AROUND AMERICA IN RETURN, I almost dropped my binoculars out of shock. I really should treat them better. They finally left after staying like that FOR TWO WHOLE HOURS. Sure, I could sit in a tree and watch my brother on his own for the whole day, but when he's acting like that with someone else... I can't stand it!

Estonia was sitting in the same place as yesterday, typing away at his laptop at the dining room table again. I wonder what he does on that thing? I guess I'm slightly curious... So I asked him.

"Estonia, what do you do on that laptop all the time?" He looked surprised that I was talking to him, as opposed to shouting at him, but he gave me a reply.

"It's nothing much! I'm just filling out some forms that your brother doesn't have the time to do." Once again, he looked up at me when he was talking. I wonder why?

"Belarus..." he began, looking at me nervously. He probably thought I was going to kill him or something, "Are you okay? You've been coming back here looking particularly irritated recently..." I was surprised he noticed. I thought he always had his eyes glued to that laptop...

"I'm fine. It's nothing you can do anything about, anyway." I told him, looking away. I probably sounded cold, but I was irritated. He just sighed, and got back to typing at his laptop again. At least he's doing something to help big brother.

6 more days until my birthday, and 5 more until Ukraine's... I'll go shopping tomorrow for a present. I think I can trust big brother for one day, because I know that he loves me, and not that bastard America. Right...?

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><p><em>Done~! Well, the first two entries are, anyway. Please tell me if I sound like Belarus! If it was my diary, there would be exclamation marks and squigglies all over the place, but I can't imagine Belarus doing that, so there aren't any~ I'll (probably) upload the next chapter tomorrow, regardless of how many review I get~! But still, a few reviews would be nice.<br>Lithuania will (probably) make an appearance tomorrow; don't worry, I haven't left him out!_

_Oh, and happy birthday, Belarus~! XD_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hi~! I'm writing this straight after I uploaded the first chapter (at 00:20am...), so I haven't got any reviews yet~ Plus, my grandma's laptop ran out as soon as I uploaded that, so I can't check... To upload these chapters, I have to Bluetooth them to her laptop, after transferring them from my laptop to my phone... It's kinda weird, but you probably don't care anyway~_

_Ooh, what's going to happen in these entries~? Read on to find out~!_

_One more thing; If you're wondering why Belarus doesn't write 'Dear Diary', and just writes 'Diary'... Does she look like the kind of person who would say 'dear' about anyone else apart from her brother?_

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><p><em><strong>20th August<strong>_

Diary,

As I wrote that I would yesterday, I went shopping to buy big sister Ukraine a birthday present today. Lithuania noticed that I was about to leave, and asked if he could come with me, claiming that he also needed to buy Ukraine a present.

"No, you don't," I glared up at him as I tied the laces on my boots, "You bought her a present yesterday. You even showed it to me."

"O-oh yes, I-I forgot..." he stuttered, turning red with embarrassment, "C-can I c-come with you a-anyway?"

I don't know why, but Lithuania really gets on my nerves. Perhaps it's because he's so close to big brother Russia. He always irritates me so much, so you can't really blame me for what I did next.

"Oww! Why did you kick me there?" he gasped in pain, sinking down on the floor and protecting his vital regions from further harm.

"You're not coming with me." I replied simply, with a glare to let him know that I was 100% serious. One day, I'd like to think that he'll get the message and leave me alone, but that probably won't be any time soon. Leaving him curled up on the floor, I left the house. It occurred to me that Estonia wasn't sitting at the table with his laptop, but I just assumed that he was still asleep... Why do I even care?

Apart from a new bra (Yes, I was being serious when I wrote that down. She could really do with a decent one...), I didn't really know what to get Ukraine. I thought just wandering aimlessly around the shopping centre would help, and guess who I ran into?

"Oh, Belarus! Are you looking for a present for Ukraine too?" Estonia asked, from behind me. So that was why I didn't see him this morning. He'd already left. I would have ignored him and continued walking, but something inside was telling me to stop and talk to him. How cheesy...

"Yes, but I can't think of anything decent..." I admitted. I don't even know why I was being so honest with him, when I could have just as easily lied and told him that I knew exactly what I was looking for.

"Well, would you like to walk around with me?" He offered, smiling, "I'm not sure what to buy her either. We can help each other!" I was surprised; I wonder if he'd have still made that offer if he'd known what I did to Lithuania for making a similar offer this morning? As he waited for my reply, he nervously adjusted his glasses. Since he usually avoids big brother Russia, I don't really have any reason to hate him. He even helps him with his work...

"...Okay."

It wasn't too bad walking around with him, actually. He paid for lunch for the two of us as well, even though I said I could pay for my lunch myself. In the end, he chose a dark blue headband, and some matching hairslides for Ukraine. He also bought a fluffy white scarf, although he wouldn't tell me why. All he said was, "This is for another special person!" Even with Estonia's help, I couldn't find a suitable present for big sister, so I had to resort to buying her a bra.

"You can wait outside if you want," I told Estonia, surprised that he was still following me. I was standing outside a really girly underwear shop, the kind that no man would be seen dead in. Well, apart from perverts, like that creepy France.

"Why, do you think I'm going to be embarrassed by being in a shop like this?" He teased, laughing when I nodded, "It doesn't bother me! We said we'd help each other, anyway!" He had a point, but it still surprised me. Though he said that, he didn't touch the bras; he just commented on the ones I picked out, saying whether he thought Ukraine would like them or not, and suggesting other colours. It was a good thing they had such big sizes. I don't understand how big sister has such huge breasts, when mine are nowhere near as big...

"Why didn't you just order something from the internet?" I asked Estonia as we were walking home. He insisted on carrying all of the bags, including the stuff that I'd bought. I ended up buying more than one bra in the end, to make up for not being able to find anything else. Just so you know, I only let him walk back with me because we live in the same house. It certainly wasn't because that voice/thing/whatever it was was telling me to...

"Your brother's been giving me a lot of work over the past few weeks, and I wanted a break," he answered, smiling again. Does he smile like that all the time? Even when he talks about how much work he has? "And, it's nice to get out of the house every so often!" Of course, I knew that he didn't spend _every _waking moment typing away on his laptop, but the idea of Estonia choosing something else over his beloved laptop surprised me a bit. Maybe I'll talk to him more often from now on...

Latvia just came into my room (Just as I was about to go to sleep... Doesn't he have a clock...?), asking if the birthday present he got for Ukraine is okay. It's quite nice, I guess. He got her a gold bracelet, adorned with sparkling peridots. I gave a faint smile, knowing why he'd chosen that particular gem; peridots are the birthstone of August. I told him she'd like it (that was a lie; she'll _love _it. Even though big sister is a farmer, she still loves nice jewellery.), and he went back to his room, finally letting me go to sleep.

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><p><strong>21st August<strong>

Diary,

Now that I've got big sister a present, I can go back to keeping an eye on big brother Russia. I hope I didn't miss anything yesterday, but there was no way of finding out, sadly. Apart from asking him.

"Brother, you didn't do anything with America while I was out yesterday, did you?"

"N-no, all we did was talk about business and stuff!" He replied, smiling. Even though I always trust him, this time I wasn't so sure... There was a guilty glint in his eye; I think he's lying to me. But I knew that I wasn't going to get anything else out of him, so I let him leave.

After putting my box of lunch in a hollow next to the tree branch I always sit on, I pulled my binoculars out and prepared to keep an eye on (It's not spying! I'm just making sure he's not secretly getting married to someone that isn't me!) big brother. I was concentrating so much, I didn't even notice that there was someone next to me... Guess who? Yeah, it was him again.

"Belarus, is this a hobby of yours?" Estonia said from next to me. Since it doesn't seem like big brother will want to read this, I'll be honest; He surprised me so much, I almost fell out of the tree... I probably would have done if Estonia hadn't put an arm around my waist to steady me, pulling me towards him.

"Ah, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you jump!"

"...What are you doing up here?" Well, it was a valid question; he didn't need to look so surprised. He just came up here, unannounced, and saved me from falling out of a tree... He still hasn't let go of me, either. I'm only letting him because I don't want to fall off this branch!

"W-well, I was just passing by, and I saw this stuck to the tree..." He said, pulling a cream ribbon out of his jacket pocket. I didn't even notice that it was missing! Big brother gave me that ribbon when we were younger... He would have been upset if I lost it...

"Thanks..." I accepted my ribbon back from him, with a small smile. But I couldn't see any way of tying it back in my hair without me losing balance...

"Here, let me do it." He offered, as if he could read my mind. And with him leaning back against the trunk of the tree, and me leaning against him (I only put my arms around him so I wouldn't fall off!), he took the ribbon out of my hands and tied it in the usual bow, on top of my head.

"There!" he announced, sitting up to admire his work. I had to admit, he did a good job; he tied it perfectly even, which I struggle to do when I tie it myself.

After we sat back were we were before (I told him he didn't have to keep his arm around me any more, and he removed it, apologizing. I'm sure I saw a flicker of sadness on his face when I said that, but I probably imagined it...), I told him why I was in the tree. Even knowing that, he offered to stay and keep me company. I didn't see what harm it would do, so I let him stay. After a while, they closed the curtains, so we couldn't see what was happening any more, and we had to go back home. But now I'm getting _really_ suspicious; what could they be doing in there that they have to close the curtains for?

Not much else happened tonight; when we got back, Estonia just got his laptop out and filled out more of those forms for brother, and I went upstairs to wrap sister's present. Latvia's probably in his room, and I think I remember Lithuania saying that he was going over to Poland's house. That Poland is irritating, but at least it means Lithuania won't bother me for a while!

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><p><em>Wow, the first entry in this chapter is long~ I think I'll leave it at two entries again, otherwise I won't have the time to upload it~! There, Liet &amp; Latvia appeared! And next chapter, Ukraine will be making an appearance~ Hehe... Poor Belarus~ Now, I'm going to try and knit a scarf like Netherlands~! See you tomorrow~!<em>


	3. Chapter 3

_I'm sorry for not updating for so long! I couldn't be bothered, to be honest. /shot/ The only reason I'm writing this now is because I'm freezing to death in a tent in a castle with no internet connection. Bizarrely, that kind of thing happens a lot to me._

_I think I'll just keep it at two entries per chapter now... I don't really like to read too much per chapter anyway, so I think two thousand words is enough!_

_In this chapter, shit gets REAL! Meaning, things get a bit depressing for poor Belarus~ But you'd be depressed if you found the person you love-*censored *!__ It was written while I was listening to a random mix of Higurashi and Vocaloid songs..._

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><p><strong>22<strong>**nd**** August**

Diary,

Today was... really bad... I'm not even sure if I can look at big brother in the face ever again...

I got up really early so I could see big brother before he left for America's house today, but he'd already left the house. As I opened the fridge to get some milk out for cereal, I noticed a note attached to the carton. It read:

_Everyone,_

_I'll be staying over at America's house today to discuss some important political things, so don't forget to do your chores~! And don't follow me. That includes you, Belarus, da~?_

_~Russia~_

Big brother Russia has always come home after meeting with America... I knew they'd probably be doing what I'd seen them doing for the past week during the day, but if he was staying over... I decided to pay them a visit. Without either of them knowing, of course.

So, at about midnight, I sat on my usual branch outside America's house. For some reason, Estonia followed me up there again.

"Why are you here?" I called to him, looking down to see him scramble up the tree, a bag slung over his shoulder. When he reached my branch, he leaned against the trunk to catch his breath for a minute. I got the feeling that Estonia doesn't go around climbing trees every day.

"It's cold, so I... wanted to give you this," He said between breaths, reaching into his bag to take out a familiar looking scarf. Familiar, because it was the scarf he'd bought when we went shopping. Before I could reply, he wrapped it around my neck, securing it with a loose knot.

"I was going to save this for your birthday, but I found something better..." He murmured, his hands staying on the scarf longer than necessary. He stayed like that for a minute, looking into my eyes, before he shifted his gaze to the side. I thought I saw a blush... Probably not.

"Hey, Belarus... Did you hear that...?"

After a few minutes of silence (It wasn't an awkward silence! Talking would be stupid when you're trying not to be found anyway!), Estonia pointed to the window that he heard something from. It was America's. Pointing my binoculars in that direction to get a better look, I tried to focus on what was being said too. Even though it was faint, to me it was so loud it might as well have been shouted into my ear.

"Alfred... I love you..."

"I love you too, Ivan..."

That time, I really did break my binoculars. Because as well as that, I'd seen them taking each others clothes off. Not wanting to be there any longer, I tried to climb down the tree as fast as I could, with Estonia shouting at me to be careful. After that, I don't remember much, apart from someone reaching out to me, screaming my name- my real name- out.

"**NATALYA!**"

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><p><strong>23rd August<strong>

Diary

I woke up at about 7pm the next day, my head feeling like it was about to burst. At first, I didn't know where I was, which unnerved me a bit, but everything fell into place as I recognised the familiar walls of my room. I still couldn't remember how I'd got there in the first place, but judging from the pain in my head, it had hurt. After laying there for a few minutes, I felt something in my hand. Something _warm_. I tried to sit up and see what it was, but before I even got halfway, I cried out in pain and collapsed back onto my bed, thankful that it was soft enough to cushion my landing. After that failure, I stayed put for another few minutes, gathering my strength for another attempt. But when I was successful a few minutes later, I was surprised to find that the warm object in my hand wasn't an object after all. It was another hand. Belonging to a certain sleeping Estonian. Had he been there the whole time, sitting on the floor next to my bed? I was quite impressed. His hair look slightly dishevelled, and his glasses were somewhat askew; I guessed that he must have moved around a lot in his sleep. Even with that worried expression on his face, he actually looks quite cute when he's sleeping... Wait, what did I just write...? Th-that's not true! Before I could scold myself any further, a low mumble escaped his lips, and his eyelids flickered open. I quickly layed back down on the bed, pretending to still be unconscious. I wanted to see how he would react.

"Oww... That was a stupid place to sleep... My neck hurts now..." I could imagine him rubbing the back of his neck as his complained. Why did he even stay there? He could have slept in his own bed, instead of on my floor... Shortly after, I felt my mattress sink a little bit next to me. He must have sat down there.

"Well, it can't be helped. I had to make sure Belarus was okay..."

...What? Why does he care? I didn't even think he was capable of caring for anyone else other than that damn laptop of his! N-not that I'm jealous or anything! I mean, what kind of idiot would be jealous of an inanimate object? Not me, that's for sure! And doesn't he know how stupid he sounds, talking to himself?

"Wow... I've been asleep for this long? Well, I did stay up late last night treating Belarus's injuries. I'd hate it if anything happened to her..."

He stayed up for me? And almost as soon as he mentioned it, I could feel the tight bandage wrapped around my head, and a few plasters on my hand. So something quite bad must have happened last night for me to have all of these injuries...

My thoughts froze when I felt his lips gently brush against my cheek. It took all of my inner strength to stay still, and not open my eyes.

"I know you can't hear me right know, but... I love you."

And then he got up, and I guessed that he'd left the room from the sound of the door closing. After I was sure he'd left, I sat up, touching a hand to my cheek where I'd felt his lips a moment before. He... loves me? That can't be right... Pushing those thoughts aside, I got up to try and find him. I still wanted to know how I'd ended up unconscious, anyway, so it's not like I was only going to see if what he said was true...

I finally found him 4 hours later, in his room. Brother's house is quite big, which is why it took so long, though his room should have been the first place I looked when I think about it. I'd stopped half-way through my search to have something to eat though, since I hadn't had anything to eat since the day before. Thankfully, nobody was there to ask questions. Not that I'd be able to give them answers anyway, with my mixed-up memory.

"Come in!" He shouted after I knocked on the door. I did just as he said, closing the door behind me. As soon as he saw me, his face became full of worry again.

"B-Belarus? Shouldn't you still be resting?" he exclaimed, leading me over to his bed to sit down. I wasn't that badly injured... He straddled the computer chair in front of his computer, folding his arms over the back and resting his head on them, and rolled over to where I was sitting.

"I'm fine, really." Estonia still didn't look convinced, so I changed the subject. "I want to know what happened last night."

For some reason, he looked extremely uncomfortable when I said that.

"Oh, that... Are you really sure you want to know?" he laughed nervously.

"Just tell me!" I snapped, maybe a little harsher than necessary.

"O-oh, okay... But don't kill me when I tell you!" he stammered, looking around his room for something to protect himself with. Finally deciding on a pillow (what good would that do if I really did attack him?), he hid behind it and began to tell me.

"Well... I found you up a tree spying on Russia and America, and I thought you looked cold, so I brought you a scarf..."

"Where is that scarf?" I asked, beginning to remember things as he told me.

"It's drying outside. I had to wash it since it was covered in blood..."

"Oh," was my intelligent response.

"Anyway, I don't know what you saw, but it must have shocked you a lot, because you crushed your binoculars to pieces... You fell out of the tree while you were trying to get down and banged your head, and since you were unconscious, I had to carry you home," he mumbled from behind the pillow, "You were bleeding a lot, so I stayed awake to clean it up. The wound didn't look too bad when I'd finished, so I... I-I went back to my own room to sleep..." I know that that's a lie. And even if I didn't know that for definite, I'd have been able to work it out from when he hesitated... But why does he need to lie about that? If he really wants to keep it a secret, I guess I won't let on that I know...

And then I remembered what had made me crush my binoculars. Estonia must have noticed the look of realisation on my face, because he grabbed another pillow to protect himself with. Tears threatened to spill out as I remembered what I had seen, and Estonia, not expecting that at all, didn't know what to do. He got up off the chair and warily sat down next to me on his bed, and pulled me into a hug. If it was any other time, or any other person, I would have pushed him off immediately, but for some reason I felt comfortable in his arms...

"D-don't cry, Belarus..." He whispered soothingly, running his hands through my hair. That just made me cry even harder, and cling on tighter to him. By the time I'd finally calmed down, I noticed the time; it was already 1am. I'd just been laying there, with his arms around me, for hours, and I was starting to feel tired. Noticing as I stifled a yawn, he smiled.

"Would you like me to take you back to your room?" Estonia kindly offered, pulling away from me. I don't know why, but as soon as he pulled away, I missed his warmth... I wanted to stay there for just a bit longer...

"I... I want to stay with you..." I murmured, catching him off guard by laying down on his bed and pulling him down next to me, "If that's okay with you..." He seemed to be at a loss for words for a moment, just staring at me with surprise in his violet eyes, until he smiled softly, and pulled me towards him again, whispering in my ear.

"That's fine by me."

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><p><em>There~! And even though I said that Ukraine would appear, I couldn't find a way to fit her in... Sorry! She'll definitely appear next time though, since it'll be her birthday!<em>

_Just ignore Estonia's lack of health and safety knowledge. I know you shouldn't move an unconscious person (especially someone with a head injury), but it's fanfiction! ...Yeah, that's my excuse for stuff that doesn't make sense. I actually do know what to do if someone is unconscious, since we're doing Health Ed. at school at the moment, but that's not important. ...Well, it is important, just not here..._

_I'm quite happy with this chapter! I just think it seem kind of cute! I'd love it if someone did that to me~ /coughPrussiacough/ Once again, I'm sorry for not updating for so long! That's why I don't usually write multi-chaptered stories! ^^;_


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